Sunday, October 31, 2010
Sorry I haven't been blogging as much as I would like to. Been caught up with work and clearing from University. Good news and bad news abounds.
Good news; I GOT THE JOB. Yes dolls, momma is a lucky camper. Celebration in due course but for now am letting it sink in. Making a strict budget to follow. I don't want to waste a single dime.:)
Bad news; am slowly slipping into a serious depression(God, am tired of these muzungu situations!) Anyhow, for as long as I remember, I have had strong to mild issues with my body. There was a time I couldn't eat at all cause I couldn't fathom the idea of gaining weight.(I fainted on several occasions) And then when that passed, i had to deal with the severe acne that attacked my face. But for a while now, all that has been forgotten. For the past few months I have comfortable in my skin. I glowed with happiness and love all thanks to the boy. I felt beautiful for once. But last week, the boy expressed that I was slowly but surely letting myself go. I quote,"you are losing it!" He also recommended I cleanse and watch my weight. And before I knew it, the dark cloud of unhappiness I had left behind when I was a teenager has slowly come back into my life to overshadow any sort of sunshine that might be directed my way. I haven't gone out at all this weekend. I spent it indoors, applying an aloe Vera face mask and checking my face every hour. I also haven't eaten anything but apples. Fortunately, I have decided am going to do this for me, not for anyone else. So I have set up goals and how am planning to achieve them.
Goal 1:To drop from the size 6 I currently am back to a size 4. For this am going to diet and exercise as well but mainly diet seeing as am lazy. I have given up breakfast and supper and lunch will be just vegetables.
Goal 2:To have a smooth acne free skin. I am going to go for facials every week as opposed to just twice a month. Avoid anything fried. Drink at least a litre of juice a day(I can't drink water..it's too eeeww!) Keep to my regime of cleansing, toning and moisturizing every morning and evening. Stay away from alcohol, it is the devil!
Goal 3:To look fashionable everyday. Clean out my wardrobe of anything old and tacky that I don't or should not wear anymore. Purchase a good item of clothing every month. on that note, I need more dresses!
Goal 4: Upgrade underwear. Make a purchase of matching bra and panties(according to my male friends..it's essential they match) every month. I shall not wear cheap bad materialed under wear again. I shall invest in good quality.
That's all I've managed to come up with thus far. :( AM.NOT.HAPPY
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I have gained 12kg (25 pounds!! Gasp!)
*Quietly weeps...heads to corner and slits wrist*
I have dropped out of Eaccos. I hate the tutor. I now have to content with my level 1 certificate.
I made a boo boo at work...seriously, this day can't get any worse! Am going home straight from here. I don't want to tempt fate into being cruel any further.
Monday, October 25, 2010
So I have been asking around about sex and I landed on this hot cake of a topic.
What do you guys think about sex without a condom? According to one of my friends (male, I need to specify) thinks you have not had sex until it is without a condom. Apparently, sex with a condom is advanced masturbation! Then I remembered an advert that was on TV awhile ago about a man who had refused to use condoms. His reason was why would one eat a sweet while the wrapper is still on. I was baffled. Do people no longer fear AIDS and other STI's? Unplanned pregnancies? Have we gotten so comfortable with the idea of ARV's and cocktails of other drugs as well as abortions?
And whose responsibility is that the there is a condom during proceedings? Is it the girl, the boy? It's a jungle out here. Am thinking we as women should make it our duty that there's an "umbrella" cause am sure the effects of unprotected sex affect us the worst. But then the story of the girl who was dumped because her fiance thought she was promiscuous for having condoms in her bag comes to mind. What to do? Am going to ask the boy about this.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Most of you are going to hate on me after this post. I have realised that sex has always been a taboo of sorts in Uganda. There's a lot of campaigns about HIV/AIDS and all that but no one really talks about sex (the exception being the red rug of course but one wouldn't even call that a reliable source seeing as most of their articles are unashamedly ripped off the Internet.)
Why? You ask am I delving into such a dirty shameful topic (see, you even think it's dirty!) Well, as I was talking with a couple of girlfriends recently, one confessed to having painful sex. And when she said this, 2 other girls said they were going through the same thing. I was agape in shock. So I asked, how long has this being going on? They said forever, ever since they had started having sex. Have you told your respective partners about this? No, they all said. Jesus, I.WAS.IN.SHOCK! Why in the world would you undress and have sex with someone but still be unable to talk to this same person about it.Why,why,why?
By the way all these three women have been to the best of schools, come from relatively upper middle class families and watch E! So you can imagine my shock. So I ask them if any of them have talked to anyone prior to this about this problem. Again, same answer no. Lord have mercy on me..I wanted to get up and smack them till they woke up and joined me in the year 2010!
Since then I have been wondering, why do we as a people(Ugandans) have this attitude towards sex? Is it our culture, is it religion? Am reading about that...shall surely get back to you on that.
As for my friends with the painful sex. I have 3 pieces of advice. Firstly, go see a gynaecologist( I DO NOT MEAN A GENERAL DOCTOR HERE) and if he finds that all is OK,talk to your man. Dude might be pumping away with all his might interpreting your screams of pain as those of pleasure yet poor girl you're dying beneath him. Lastly and most importantly, find out what works for you...and yes I mean find some me time and touch yourself...no your not going to hell! It will do you a world of good. You'll thank me later.
On that note, am looking into buying a rabbit!(I.AM.NOT.ASHAMED) I don't know where I can find one here though and all my friends abroad are too cowardly to walk into a sex shop(see what am saying, they took the attitude [read maalo] with them to outside countries!) So if one of you dolls can be so kind as to point me in the right direction, I will be grateful.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
For all my being informed and being online each day, I only just recently saw Ssempa's (the "Pastor") eat da poo poo YouTube video (am not including a link for you dolls, I will not add to the virality of that video). I was first amused..then horrified. Why,why,why is this man so ignorant so much so that he wants to advertise the fact. I have always stayed away from this topic because this blog is not a social commentary, it's just a log of my life. But this has finally infuriated me enough to write about it because this affects my life.
One of my closest friends is gay. He came out to me about 2 years ago. His reason, apparently am liberal thinking(according to him). I was appalled. I was shocked. I was in denial. But as I took a taxi home that night, I thought who am I to judge him, am not God. I read the Bible and it clearly condemns homosexuality but this is the same Bible in which the same God killed thousands upon thousands of Egyptian first born CHILDREN!(Discussion for another day) So I choose not to judge him. He is a wonderful person and the fact that he's gay does not affect his personality in any way.
But on to the real reason for this post. When he came out to me,he was dating a lovely young unsuspecting girl. I couldn't have this. Of course I understood why he was doing this, he is straight acting. But if he was going to lead a certain lifestyle, he was not allowed to use anyone to cover for him as long as he was my friend. So I managed to convince him to leave her. Am sure this was a kinder fate than finding out her dear beloved was screwing dudes on the side.
Before he came out to me , I thought they were like 10 gay men in kampala(Yes loves,am naive like that sometimes) But since then I have found out that no,they are not 10...they are not 100 either, they are thousands. They are my friends,my acquaintances,my relatives, my workmates. They are all around me. From all walks of life,the very rich to the dirt poor, the expatriate to the school teacher. And no, they are not deviants,they are normal people like me and you.
But what frightened me the most, is that alarmingly a good number of them are boyfriends to women, husbands to women and fiances to women. Yes, am talking to you wife out there. African americans have a term for this, they are men on the down low! Yes people, men(and such a big number of them you would not sleep well if you found out how many) are on the down low. And I don't blame them, I would also do the same in their position. But then when I think about my friends, my sister, my aunts, even my unconceived girls...am horrified of the thought that one of them might end up with men like this. And who do I blame for this..the Martin Ssempa's of this world.
So to Mr Ssempa (am hoping he reads this someday) I ask, one day your daughter(am assuming he has one) will bring a man home as her husband, and funny enough this man will be a closeted homosexual(yes, those people who eat da poo poo albeit in hiding). Who will you blame? The people you have stupidly brain washed to hate him so much so he has to hide what he truly is, the cruel government policies that you supported so vibrantly that have forced him into acting like he has a disease he should be ashamed of, the God you serve for playing such a cruel and nasty joke on you, or you for your sheer and plain ignorance and stupidity?
Mr Ssempa, whatever your doing now is going to come back to bite you in the ass. (Pun seriously not intended!)
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Of course the geek in me could not stay away for long. Am learning high level Unix networking and to get started I need to know how the X windows system works and how to use it. According to this wikipedia article, X windows is a computer software system and network protocol that provides a graphical user interface for networked computers. Pretty neat, huh! Well, I found a really good introductory tutorial here for newbies like me (though I can't really call myself that anymore having finished LPI1). Enjoy.